Don't go back! Use the "Silent Scream"!

The Silent Scream

If you want to break the cycle of addiction and incarceration or a destructive behavior, I would like to give you a powerful tool for your tool box…what I call the “Silent Scream”.

Take out a piece of paper, an envelope, and a determination to push through tears and pain.  That’s right go ahead get it out…..we can wait until you’re ready to go on.  Because if you do not do it now the enemy will convince you to do it later and later will not come until you are back in the destructive behavior!  So Stop reading and get ready…….!

Ok… let’s get started….

As humans out of self-preservation often we have to push back pain in order to move forward in life and not get stuck in the whirlpool of pain that leads to destruction, depression, inability to move forward, and often-times even death.  For me it was getting my property after incarceration……changing out of the jumpsuit, putting on my leather jacket, stepping outside pulling out a cigarette and lighting the zippo.  At that moment I began my escape from the pain so that I could get it behind me.  

There is probably no greater example of what I am talking about than child birth……You ladies after birth will scream never again!!  Twelve months later……I think I might be pregnant or maybe we can have one more…..  Your protection kicked in and you have forgotten the morning sickness, the kicks in the kidney’s, the miserable last couple of months of pregnancy, the extreme pain of child birth….. 

So now you have a clue of what we are going to do…..

First:  Take the envelope and write on the front, “Silent Scream”.  Turn it over and in big letters write: DO NOT OPEN!!!

Second:  Grab the Kleenex, your pen, and pull out the paper.  Now start writing all of the pain…. The loneliness of the cell, having to shove your head against the concrete so no one can see your tears after your visitors just left, the times you missed your children’s birthday, missing Christmas with family, the pain of the cuffs, the smell of the jail, the time you woke up with the needle in your arm, the gun in the mouth or staring at the bottle of pills……waking up with someone in the bed and not remembering who it is or what happened……the paranoia that you are being followed so you drive by your home twenty times before you pull in the driveway,  the children that no longer will talk to you because you can’t keep a promise……The damage on the car and not knowing if you hit someone or how you even got home……I think you get what I am saying….PUT IT ALL IN ON THE PAPER!  This is the scream of your pain and hurt that you will forget and probably have until you started reading some of the words above…… Let it come out like a flood and get more paper if you need to….But put it down on the paper.

Third:  Fold the paper and put it in the envelope and seal it….

Fourth:  Write on the seal…. Never read but hand this back to me.

Fifth:  This is one of the more important pieces….. Think of the person that knows you best, the one that has warned you before, the one that you avoid if you are using or going backward and don’t want to be around because they will figure it out.  Maybe it is Mom, your spouse, your son or daughter, your best friend since childhood, the one that is the first to know but still there for you.

Sixth:  Hand them the letter and tell them…. Do not open or read this letter but if you ever are concerned that I might be going down the destructive path of my past.  Hand me this letter because it might just save my life.

Seventh:  If that letter is ever handed to you…listen to the scream!  Remember that the path to destruction is slippery with compromise, deception, and often we do not even know that we are stepping on it…. But those around us that are close, will probably see it.  

My prayer is that you will look at that letter, shed a tear, and hand it back.  The choice will be yours….  You can listen, you can evaluate it and maybe you are not on the road, you can deny it, or even just plain ignore it.  But one thing I can guarantee is that when you see it you will remember every letter and every scream of your pain…..  Do with that what you will but I pray that you will turn from it and get back on the plan for your life to move forward and not backward!  Give the pain back to Christ and pursue His plan for your life and not our selfish, self-centered plans bring about destruction….