Don't go back! Use the "Silent Scream"!

The Silent Scream

If you want to break the cycle of addiction and incarceration or a destructive behavior, I would like to give you a powerful tool for your tool box…what I call the “Silent Scream”.

Take out a piece of paper, an envelope, and a determination to push through tears and pain.  That’s right go ahead get it out…..we can wait until you’re ready to go on.  Because if you do not do it now the enemy will convince you to do it later and later will not come until you are back in the destructive behavior!  So Stop reading and get ready…….!

Ok… let’s get started….

As humans out of self-preservation often we have to push back pain in order to move forward in life and not get stuck in the whirlpool of pain that leads to destruction, depression, inability to move forward, and often-times even death.  For me it was getting my property after incarceration……changing out of the jumpsuit, putting on my leather jacket, stepping outside pulling out a cigarette and lighting the zippo.  At that moment I began my escape from the pain so that I could get it behind me.  

There is probably no greater example of what I am talking about than child birth……You ladies after birth will scream never again!!  Twelve months later……I think I might be pregnant or maybe we can have one more…..  Your protection kicked in and you have forgotten the morning sickness, the kicks in the kidney’s, the miserable last couple of months of pregnancy, the extreme pain of child birth….. 

So now you have a clue of what we are going to do…..

First:  Take the envelope and write on the front, “Silent Scream”.  Turn it over and in big letters write: DO NOT OPEN!!!

Second:  Grab the Kleenex, your pen, and pull out the paper.  Now start writing all of the pain…. The loneliness of the cell, having to shove your head against the concrete so no one can see your tears after your visitors just left, the times you missed your children’s birthday, missing Christmas with family, the pain of the cuffs, the smell of the jail, the time you woke up with the needle in your arm, the gun in the mouth or staring at the bottle of pills……waking up with someone in the bed and not remembering who it is or what happened……the paranoia that you are being followed so you drive by your home twenty times before you pull in the driveway,  the children that no longer will talk to you because you can’t keep a promise……The damage on the car and not knowing if you hit someone or how you even got home……I think you get what I am saying….PUT IT ALL IN ON THE PAPER!  This is the scream of your pain and hurt that you will forget and probably have until you started reading some of the words above…… Let it come out like a flood and get more paper if you need to….But put it down on the paper.

Third:  Fold the paper and put it in the envelope and seal it….

Fourth:  Write on the seal…. Never read but hand this back to me.

Fifth:  This is one of the more important pieces….. Think of the person that knows you best, the one that has warned you before, the one that you avoid if you are using or going backward and don’t want to be around because they will figure it out.  Maybe it is Mom, your spouse, your son or daughter, your best friend since childhood, the one that is the first to know but still there for you.

Sixth:  Hand them the letter and tell them…. Do not open or read this letter but if you ever are concerned that I might be going down the destructive path of my past.  Hand me this letter because it might just save my life.

Seventh:  If that letter is ever handed to you…listen to the scream!  Remember that the path to destruction is slippery with compromise, deception, and often we do not even know that we are stepping on it…. But those around us that are close, will probably see it.  

My prayer is that you will look at that letter, shed a tear, and hand it back.  The choice will be yours….  You can listen, you can evaluate it and maybe you are not on the road, you can deny it, or even just plain ignore it.  But one thing I can guarantee is that when you see it you will remember every letter and every scream of your pain…..  Do with that what you will but I pray that you will turn from it and get back on the plan for your life to move forward and not backward!  Give the pain back to Christ and pursue His plan for your life and not our selfish, self-centered plans bring about destruction….

God used a man headed to death row to change me forever!

If my story or my life touches you please send a thank you note to William Lecroy Jr..  I can not imagine sitting on death row....let alone wondering if my life had any impact.  Please Share this letter! His Address is on the bottom.....Thank You for helping me to express hope to a man that touched me.

Dear Bill,

I have owed you this letter for many years.  You impacted my life in an eternal way and that in turn has touched thousands of lives.  I am going to post this letter on my social network and I am going to ask anyone that my life has touched for Christ, that would be willing, to send you a thank you card.  I think in-part the reason that I have not written is because I wanted to make sure that I kept my commitment to God despite what you may have or have not done with your commitment to Christ….. But let me start….

You may not remember me but I certainly remember you….I can feel the shackles and cuffs and smell the holding cell still to this day.  I have shared that day in front of thousands of people (literally).  I stood on stage following Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann in 2008 and shared my testimony at the Williams Arena in St Paul, MN.  I am going to share my testimony with you and I would love to get a letter back from you…especially if you can fill in some of the blanks…or from your perspective.

My name is George Gipson and I met you in a federal holding cell in Minneapolis MN in 2001 as you were being transported back to Georgia.  It is the most important day in my life…… My life changed the day that we met and has never been the same….. So let me tell you my side of the story.

At around 5:00 AM my cell door cycled at Sherburne County Jail in Omega Pod to transport me to Minneapolis for my detention hearing.  I left with 6 men in the van and my hopes were high of getting out.  I had been down this road in 1993 when I robbed a bank and was released until sentencing.  This time I had things going for me…. Number one… I did not rob the bank they were accusing me of, I had a fiance’, a drywall business, and a Federal probation officer that was supportive of me.  I thought “in and out” and then I will get this thing cleaned up….. Oh How wrong I was!!!

At 9:00 AM I was the first one on the docket and my Attorney said great things, My Federal Supervise Release Officer, stood up and said, “…..I won’t speak of Mr. Gipson’s guilt or innocence, but I have supervised him for three years and if Mr. Gipson says he will show up for court I will stake my reputation that he will show up for court….”.   I was thinking GREAT, even after the prosecutor said the normal speech (even unenthusiastically) I was going home and then would fight this and prove my innocence……..

Wrong….. The Judge hit his gavel and said, “Detained”…My world in my eyes just ended!  I went back to that holding cell mad at God, mad at the world, mad at absolutely everything!  I was screaming out to the God that I had shunned how could YOU let this happen to me!!  If you are a just God so on and so forth…..  

But only a few months prior I had been arrested and made my obligatory Covenant with God…. “God if you get me out of this mess I will come back and start going to church etc”….  He let me out… I put on my leather jacket got my cigarettes out of my property and lit up, called my fiancé, and that was the last conversation I had with him until exactly 30 days later….. 

There was a knock on the door and there was a South St Paul Policeman arresting me for a bank robbery, I kissed my fiance, told her don’t worry, we just went through this… if it was serious the FBI would be arresting me, not the South St Paul Police.  It was October 10^th, 2001  at 10:38 when he put me in the back of that squad ….. I know….he had handcuffed me in the front and I put out my cigarette as he stuffed me in the back… It was the last time I had a drink, a cigarette, gambled, or made a covenant with God that I would not keep……because God had a plan for an appointment with you that would leave me devoted totally Him.

Back to the holding cell.... I was angry with the world, and my life as I knew it had just ceased to exist.  I paid no attention as I was in my pity party that the other 6 men that I went with were not coming back into the cell….until I noticed I was all alone when a tall white guy wearing black and whites looking like he just got off a chain gang walked in and got his cuffs off….. that is when I met you.

We made the obligatory introductions….but I was in my pity party and did not need or want to talk to anyone, but your black and whites had me curious because Federal holding is: Orange jump suits- Sherburne County, Blue jump suits- Anoka County….that’s it period.

I remember you asking, “Do you want to know what I am in here for?” and I replied, “No”.  I had been incarcerated before and my world had just crashed and I certainly did not want to know about yours!!  I had been down before, so I really did not care…. But I was curious so I asked the next question.  “No, but what is with the black and whites?”…..  You replied that you had been in Canada and when you crossed back over and they caught you….the black & whites is what they put you in and they were transporting you back to Gilmore County Georgia…. 

You pulled out a "wanted", sheet of paper out of your manila envelope that you were carrying and handed it to me to read….. Wanted: Do not approach contact law enforcement immediately… considered armed and dangerous; Wanted for murder, theft, burglary, auto theft etc….  And then you started to laugh, at the time I thought it was diabolical in retrospect it was probably just fear…..  But you said during that laughter, “At least they got rid of “Old Smokey” the electric chair and now they just want to give me lethal injection”.

Bill, I will admit that with that laughter and reading those words I had fear… My thoughts were something like…. I have been down before, he is not only a lifer he is checking out..…this guy has nothing to lose and I want to live… he is bigger than me but I have military training and boxing experience…older, slower, but I am going to have to take him out before he takes me out……That is where God Stepped in….

 In the middle of my running from God’s calling, my pity party, my life ending as I knew it, my fear of being in that cell…..God broke into my heart and started a process to truly set me free!  As I was making the contemplation of what I would need to do to take you out….God took me out.  All of the sudden I realized that I could lose everything in this world but I was setting across the cell from a man that could lose not only everything in this world but his very life for eternity.  I still am not sure how I went from trying to figure out how to take you out, to the next words that did not even seem to be my own….  I said to you, “Bill I have been running from God for a long time, but I am really a Christian man….  Do you believe in heaven or hell?” And you replied, “Yes I do, I am going straight to hell and there is nothing that can be done about it.”

The rest of our hours together kind of blend together but I remember sharing with you scriptures and stories that I had long ago walked away from.  Stories like the thief on the cross,  Paul killing Christians, David killing a man so that he could have his wife, etc..  I was raised in the church and my Grandmother actually helped plant some churches in northern Missouri and I can to this day see the pictures in her old King James bible as she held me on her lap and told me the stories…… 

I remember talking for hours and finally it was almost time for them to shackle us and take us back to Sherburne Co. Jail.  I told you it does not have to be that way and that God could forgive anyone for anything and you said to me….. “No, you just don’t understand all that I have done… I am just to black for God to forgive..”  I prayed for you and they took us back to Sherburne County where they put you in solitary or intake and I went back to me cell in Omega.  

Here is what you don’t know….I went back to my cell and I could not get you out of my heart or my mind….  For the next three days I could not eat or sleep all I could do was pray, cry, and read the bible that I got off of the book cart.  The Officer even came up to talk to me because I had not left my cell to come down for meals….and they were thinking I needed to be on suicide watch after my detention.  I had to tell them our story and how it was affecting me so they did not move me down to medical.

I could not wait for Pilot Outreach Ministries to come in on Sunday evening so that I could talk to someone about what was going on….  Pastor Jay Bunker came in that Sunday night and I could not get to him fast enough.  I told him what had happened in the holding cell, how I could not eat or sleep, and begged him to go down to talk to you after the service.  He told me to go back to me cell and pray and that he assured me that he would go down and talk to you that evening.

Bill…. I went back to my cell and prayed the most heartfelt prayer I have ever prayed!  I said, “Lord God I have been running from you for a long time… my Mother and Father serve you, my brothers and sisters all follow you… I am the black sheep that has been running from you since I was 18.  My children know you and you have pursued and helped me in so many ways….. I surrender….  Lord, if you would just touch Bill’s life and call him to you, because his decisions are for eternity….  I will serve you all of the days of my life whole heartedly…… if you want me to walk thirty years in this pod or got to Zimbabwe (did not even know where that was) I will go!

That next Monday morning I went downstairs with my bible and sat down and studied…. I asked God to bring me others to study with…. I stopped watching television, I tuned my radio in to KTIS Christian Radio, took the knob off and flushed it so that I could not tune it to anything else…… I spent almost two years in that jail…. preaching, teaching, even baptized guys under the stairs, had prayer every night at 9:30 before lock down gathered in a circle under those stairs……. I lost my trial… I taught that night…. I went to Prison…. To Pekin, IL affectionately known as “Holy Ghost Univerity”….teaching and equipping men to walk over the fences as men of God devoted to his Kingdom….  I have never stopped and I never will….. Satan will have to slay me to keep me from waking up each morning to make a difference for the Kingdom.  I think the only reason he has not is because he would just be giving me a blessing to be ushered in to my Saviors Arms……  Every day I teach and walk out this life as a Christian man…. Every program and ministry that I am a part of can be attributed back to the day that God allowed a man headed for Death Row to inadvertently give me life!  For that I cannot begin to repay, but I am asking those that it has impacted to say "Thank You" to you.

I don’t know where you are at with the Lord but he has used you to touch lives…. I am putting your address on the bottom so that others whose lives have been impacted through me, through you, but ultimately through Jesus might send you a Thank You!

My prayer is that you are serving him even in there, for I know that you are in my life and I want you to know the legacy of when a man headed for lethal injection changed the course and direction of this sinner saved by His miraculous grace!

In His Matchless Love!

George Gipson

Send Thank You Notes to:

William LeCroy Jr.  45795-019

USP Terre Haute

Po Box 33

Terre Haute, IN 47808

Fear of the Lord

My morning meditation with A.W. Tozer on the "Transcendence of God", brought out an interesting quote:  "When the Psalmist saw the transgression of the wicked his heart told him how it could be. "There is no fear of God before his eyes," he explained, and in so saying revealed to us the psychology of sin. When men no longer fear God, they transgress His laws without hesitation.  The fear of consequences is no deterrent when the fear of God is gone."

I think that one of the by-products of our modern church movement of hyper-grace theology has been the loss of the fear of God.... That once I am in the fold of God I need only fear the loss of blessings.  I believe that we have "graced away" the holiness of God, that he is coming back for a bride without blemishes.  That all of the warnings for us from Christ in John 15, we explain away all of the "if's" that he told his Apostles, the warnings from Paul of the lessons of the Israelites, "The Elect of God", the warnings of if you think you are standing firm.... and have reduced them away in Grace as if they need not apply to me as a new covenant believer.

If we want to see the power of Christ manifest in our churches, divorce, abortion, addictions, the worldliness, selfishness, and faithlessness removed with fear and trembling...... we must restore the "fear of the Lord" for it is the wellspring of life.  The wages of sin is death... is a law that is in effect regardless of whether you are a believer or unbeliever.  My hope ..... is that I have a Savior who is faithful and just and will cover my sin when I repent and turn to him!  "Fear of the Lord", is the first step to obedience to the Lord...the by-product of that.......a life secure in the holiness of God and a power of restoration that can only be from Him! 

Tuesday Morning Thoughts

Quote from A.W. Tozer (On the Omnipotence of God) , "Science observes how the power of God operates, discovers a regular pattern somewhere and fixes it as a "law".  The uniformity of God's activities in His creation enables the scientist to predict the course of natural phenomena."  

My Thoughts:

 Instead of science pointing away from God...they truly point towards our Creator.  Because Our God changes not, that his word never returns void, that what he decrees no man can change......these are the principles that give us a solid rock on which to stand.   As science discovers the "pathways of God's activities" they will be as consistent as the author of creation!

It is those same underpinnings that His Physical and Spiritual laws will always be consistent and will always accomplish His intended purpose, regardless of what we name them or call them, that science and the world rests upon.

For example each of the 12 steps of AA are a spiritual principle and have helped to change millions of lives.  You can not take the principles out of the steps for they would cease to exist.  A person can not read the "Big book of AA" as a christian and not see them as clearly as the dawn.  But a non-believer by following them will be confronted with a God of infinite grace and omnipotence, what they choose to do with that God  now that is a different conversation.

In closing:  It is the immutability of our omnipotent God that gives us the assurance that he knows best and will accomplish all that he has intended for my and yours!